Archive for February 16th, 2011

Wedding Etiquette: Can I register if I elope?

Wednesday, February 16th, 2011

bridal shower invitationsIt’s Wednesday afternoon – no better time than now for an etiquette lesson!  A very close friend of mine is very happily engaged and she and her fiance are considering eloping rather than having a traditional wedding ceremony, followed by a reception.  They still plan on sending out marriage announcements and also inviting their friends and family for a large reception to celebrate upon their return. 

The big question at hand: Is it acceptable to register for gifts if you elope?

I did some research and the answer is that there really isn’t a right or wrong answer here!  A bridal registry is a service provided to engaged couples in the communication of gift preferences to wedding and bridal shower guests.  Most guests bring a gift to a bridal shower or wedding and many times the gift is one suggested from the bridal registry.  So the real question should be, if guests are coming to a reception after I have eloped, will they bring gifts?  The answer is that some guests may and some guests may not.   It really depends on your situation and the reason that you have chosen to elope.  Some guests may feel that you are more interested in the celebration, rather than the significance behind your marriage and the sentiment that goes long with it. 

Best bet?  I would say, go ahead and register, however DO NOT under any circumstances print this information on your marriage announcement or wedding reception invitation.  If a guest asks you where you are registered, you will know that they are okay with it and can then tell them where you have registered.  If they haven’t asked you, they probably do not want to know.  Perhaps only register at one location and simply go into your reception with it in mind that some guests may bring a gift, and others may not, which is perfectly acceptable.

Your wedding is about you and whether your guests attend your wedding ceremony, your wedding reception or both it should still be celebrated!  Celebrate your engagement and make the registry choice that is right for you!